How to Lower Your IQ: Watch the History Channel

By Alan Caruba

Have you watched the History Channel lately? Seen any history on it? I have this theory that you actually lower your IQ watching it.

I love history, any history, read it all the time. I am especially fond of the late Israeli diplomat and author Abba Eban’s comment that “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”

As you have probably deduced by now, I am very unhappy with the pabulum and low-brow offering of programs aired on the History Channel. I am most irked by shows that have absolutely nothing to do with history.

To wit, “Ice Road Truckers”, “Pawn Stars”, “Swamp People”, “Stan Lee’s Superhumans”, “American Pickers”, along with “Sharp Shooters” and “UFO Hunters.”

These programs are utterly devoid of anything a moderately educated person would deem to be of any historical value.

Most, but not all, History Channel shows have little to do with history, events and personalities from the past. Take, for example, the channel’s obsession with the end of the world. It offers us programs such as “Armageddon”, a biblical, not historical event, along with “Bible Code, Predicting Armageddon.” Then, for good measure, it throws in “Life After People”, a program that describes what the Earth will be like just as soon as the human race goes extinct.

It also dabbles in the stuff usually associated with shamans tossing chicken bones and shiny pebbles on a mat in order to foresee the future. The “Nostradamus Effect” offers to explain his “predictions” which, not surprisingly, have been used to explain wars and other easily predictable events like floods and earthquakes.

Only on occasion does the History Channel actually broadcast history. There is an excellent series, “America—The Story of Us”, that I can recommend, but it is an exception on a channel more likely to air “Sex in the Ancient World” than anything you’d want a younger member of the family to watch.

Years ago in the 1960s, Newton Minnow, a former chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, gained everlasting fame when he described television was “a vast wasteland.”

Actually, his entire quote from a speech to members of the National Broadcasting Association was as follows: “When television is good, nothing — not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers — nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse.”

“I invite you each of you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there for a day without a book, without a magazine, without a newspaper, without a profit and loss sheet or a rating book to distract you. Keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that what you will observe is a vast wasteland.”

Today, I have well over a hundred channels from which to choose. I clearly do not have to watch the History Channel, but I would like to if it ever gets around to broadcasting anything resembling history.

© Alan Caruba, 2010

How to Turn School into an Exciting Learning Experience

Back to School Tips from The Boring Institute

"The number one complaint about school is that it is boring," says Alan Caruba, the founder of The Boring Institute. "It is frequently the excuse given for dropping out." By contrast, says Caruba “School should be an exciting, learning experience.” Over the years the Institute has developed the following advice to help students get the most out of the school experience.

1. Go with the flow. What could be easier than to show up on time, do what is asked of you, and take full advantage of the learning opportunities school offers?

2. Go to bed! Staying up late to watch TV or "hang out" drains your brain of the power that it needs to learn anything. Begin the day, as well, with a good breakfast.

3. TV sucks out your brain. The more TV you watch, the less exercise your brain gets. Only watch programs you really like. Turn it off and you will discover how much time you have for other activities.

4. You can learn it. Your brain has an extraordinary power to learn virtually anything. Trust it. Always ask for help when you need it.

5. School equals $uccess. School opens the door to success. Good grades really do count.

6. Get the reading habit. To succeed at anything, reading is essential. And fun, too!

7. Develop test-skills. You can learn how to take a test, any test. Then prepare well for each one.

8. Choose school-friendly friends. Avoid people who will find any excuse to avoid learning anything.

He's Never Bored with Boredom

Alan Caruba created The Boring Institute in 1984, but put it on hiatus following 9/11. Primarily a media spoof, the Institute was famous for its annual list of “The Most Boring Celebrities of the Year.”

Caruba felt that the mood of the nation was such that its annual spoofs of celebrities, movies, and televisions were inappropriate at the time.

The Institute is back as a blog and Caruba anticipates sharing the fun of those earlier years that included many radio and television interviews as well as profiles in The New York Times and other leading publications.

One of its events was an annual “Anti-Boredom Month” each July, created to focus attention on the role boredom plays in people’s lives.

In 1984, Caruba had no plans to become the nation’s expert on boredom, but the success of the spoof generated a great deal of mail asking for advice on how to overcome and avoid boredom. His research led him to take a longer, more serious look at this common problem.

“Now, when people say they’re bored to death,” says Caruba, “I tell them they are a lot closer to the truth than they suspect.” Serious boredom is an early warning signal of depression says Caruba, who notes that ten million or more Americans suffer from depression.

“About ten percent of them will commit suicide and those that do come most frequently from the age groups of teenagers and senior citizens.” Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death in America.

So, for Caruba, real boredom is no laughing matter. “I began to find links between boredom and crime, since most crime is committed by young people. Then there’s the link between boredom and the decision to drop out of school. Put them together,” says Caruba, “and you will discover that an estimated eighty percent of everyone in jail today is a school dropout. As often as not, the trouble began because they were bored.”

Boredom plays a role in the widespread addictions to drugs and alcohol says Caruba. “What worse way can you think of to avoid being bored than to get high on something that makes you dependent and can put you in jail for using or misusing it?”

Bored people make bad decisions because they’re bored. “When they finally get themselves clean, they always say the same thing, ‘What was I thinking of?’ and the answer is they were not thinking. They were bored!”

Marriages get in trouble over two issues, money and sex. “It’s the boredom in the bedroom,” says Caruba “that gets one marriage partner or both looking for satisfaction elsewhere.” Couples need to work at keeping their passion for one another for mutual satisfaction and there are a variety of factors that often interfere with this. When sex becomes boring to one partner, however, the marriage is in serious need of salvaging. “There are many things a couple can do to reinvigorate their sex lives, but they both need to want it.”

To help people who want answers on how to overcome and avoid boredom, The Boring Institute offers a guide, “Beating Boredom”, available exclusively on its blog site.

“The top three things people must do,” says Caruba, “is get the reading habit, pursue hobbies, and be a joiner. Reading, says Caruba, “feeds the mind in a way nothing else does.” Just watching television is “a good way to fall asleep if you have insomnia, but it does little to overcome boredom. Most films fail to satisfy these days in just the same way.” Books, however, involve the reader at their deepest level.

A veteran book reviewer, Caruba reports on the latest in fiction and non-fiction books on his blog http://.bookviewsbyalancaruba.blogspot.com.
Reading is one of his favorite pastimes.

Hobbies are essential to happiness says Caruba. “I don’t care if you collect toy soldiers or climb mountains, just so long as you do it with passion.” The power of sports such as golf, tennis, bowling, hiking, fishing or hunting all speak to the need people have for something outside the demands of school or a job. One can also be a passionate observer, taking in a baseball, football, basketball or hockey game, enjoying the pleasure of being among others who share your enthusiasm.

Being a joiner means getting out of one’s apartment or home to be involved with people who share your interests. Caruba is a big advocate of volunteering one’s time to help others. “There are few forms of personal satisfaction that come close to knowing you’ve made a different in someone else’s life by helping them in some way. Being involved with civic, business, professional, spiritual, arts and other organizations pays big personal dividends.”

The Boring Institute is headquartered in South Orange, N.J.